Tomorrow is the wedding day! I’ve been reflecting a lot over the last few days about my life leading up to this moment. I’ve been thinking about when I was younger and all I wanted to do was get married. I was so young then and really didn’t know what I wanted out of life. I also wasn’t a very strong person. I allowed people to treat me poorly and as a consequence, tended to date men who weren’t very good to me. The funny thing is that without those relationships, I wouldn’t have found Jamie. Each of my failed relationships put me on the path that led me to him, and for that I am grateful. It’s kind of funny to say that now, but that is what maturity does to you.
One failed relationship in particular stands as the example of that path. In 1998 I made the decision to return home to California after 12 years in Utah. That was back in the heyday of chat rooms and I began chatting with people from the Bay Area. I met someone, we’ll call him X, and we began a long distance relationship. He sealed the deal on the move back to California and in March of 1999 I arrived in San Francisco. My relationship with X lasted a stormy 3 years and boy was it awful. He cheated on me, treated me like crap and made me feel I was lucky to be with him. When I finally broke up with him on the Summer of 1991, I was a new person. I made a decision that I was not going to be treated like that ever again and set out on a new path.
Thanks to X, certain things had happened that brought me closer to Jamie. I was in California, I took a job at a radio station that introduced me to Hawthorne Lane, then took a job at a preschool where his former roommate worked. If I hadn’t been with X, I’m not sure those things would have happened. Most importantly, I had a new outlook on life and dating. It took several more years of working on myself to bring me to Jamie, but in the Summer of 2006 it happened. I met Jamie.
I am being ecstatic to be marrying my true partner tomorrow. And I am also grateful for the “Ghosts of Boyfriends Past” who each taught me something about myself and brought me closer to the man who will become my husband tomorrow.